I have a dream house, though it will probably surprise you what my preferences are. See, I have had cleaning services for more than 4 years of my life… apartment turnovers, bi weekly cleanings, weekly cleanings and new construction cleaning ( you know, those PERFECT model homes? Yea, that was me)… some were ghetto apartments all the way up to several millions of dollars. I have cleaned all surfaces you can imagine, and some I had to be creative with. Here is my list of things I want in my future home.
1. Countertops: stained concrete or stainless steel, with perhaps an inset of butcher block and/or marble for making pastries. I cannot stand granite, marble, tile (grout is disgusting), coriane, Formica etc…. all are inferior, wear terribly and wayyyyyyy too much maintenance to make ‘pretty’. Now, a natural substance that holds up well, cleans well and has natural microbial properties is aggregate quartz countertops.
2. Floors: preferably stained concrete again, hardwood in a neutral to honey color; dark shows EVERYTHING (including fur, dust, lint, snot, streaks, cat yak, children Yuk etc.), too light has its own issues with showing all the other dark issues, see parenthesis above! One of the best surfaces for the money, show and clean ability… bamboo and Swedish finished hardwoods; all it takes is vinegar and water… BAM! ( I will explain further reasons for hard surfaces later)
3. Windows: Wood framed, triple paned, if I can afford it. Why? Of all the homes I have ever cleaned, wood was superior to all others. Wood can ‘go with the flow’ of heat/cold fluctuations, has great durability and were by far, the most stable, with regard to wear and tear and the quietest homes I had ever been in! Triple paned with Argon or Boron filled are the most resistant to ‘unsealing’ issues in the future.
4. Skylights, sky panes and other funky glass: I will never have a glass doored window unless it has an ultra-miniblind installed. I have seen many a house door destroyed by the slamming of the door and the helpless blinds banging themselves into it…. Making marks on the door AND destroying the blind. Do yourself a favor, pay the extra for the blinds inside or get a frosted variety. Sky panes… you know, those ‘window like’ skylights… get some insurance that pays for their entire replacement… or opt out…just like every vehicle that has a sunroof… it WILL eventually leak, and it just takes time. Skylights, include these in any inspection, unless properly installed and flashed, they too, will leak. (I love the new dome/concentrated ones however, they have a different installation). Do not get anything taste specific… it will only be removed and usually destroyed by the next owner; too quirky= GONE.
5. Doors: call me old fashioned, but I like good old fashioned wood. There are neighborhoods where steel exterior doors are a better choice, but this is a dream home I am talking about! … Wood reasons –see #3… but also... quite frankly natural wood doors have to be THE MOST welcoming feature of a home… though, I would make an exception for a fabulous all glass swiveled type of door that costs way too much for my budget!
6. Bathrooms: I like things simple here... the best porcelain products are TOTO... just my experience… in cleaning and ease of use, Kohler is a close second, as well as their fabulous warranties! I will have a walk in shower, as I detest shower curtains and doors. I dislike glass and see through walls… sorry, but after so many years of scrubbing human funk and chemicals off of walls… NO thanks! Shower will be simple honed (one slab per wall) rock with riverbed rock inlaid floor… it feels great on the feet and easily cleaned. Preferably, an outdoor shower will reduce the need for walls at all, and I can just spend the money on great rocks to stand on
7. Fireplaces: unless you live in a climate that requires the use of alternative heat sources, these are useless and a HUGE waste of space in any home. I suggest them if you live in Northern states, near a coastal area or elevations over 1k feet... otherwise, useless, stinky, difficult to clean and maintenance is a pain! Fire pits-yes, fireplaces-no.
8. Appliances: I have NO IDEA why people like stainless… like its best friend, granite... is overpriced, pretty GARBAGE…. VERY difficult to keep pretty, clean and not to mention always costs more… and while you are at it, add all BLACK appliances to this list. The best are ceramic, white or almond and glass; to keep clean and beautiful. My preference is gas, of course, but the electrics have come a long way with convection and infrared technologies. Since we are in the kitchen, get at least a two part sunken sink (or country styled)…. If you ever worked in the food industry, you know why.
9. Fixtures: do NOT get fancy, weird or otherwise quirky again…. People do not want to think about their fixtures... they should compliment the room, not make it complicated.
Styles I have seen last the test of time:
1. Spa like themes, neutrals and taste unspecific are the best. Think of your favorite luxury vacation and duplicate it… that will give you the best buck for your money in resale any day.
2. Regional themes, the duh factor kicks in here… If you live in a cultural area, go with the flow... Spanish style home, go with Spanish style décor but simplified with neutrals…. If it’s Hawaiian style, go with it… etc….
3. Go with the age/time of the home; if the home is 1920’s… it will be a dud if you put in a contemporary red bedroom/bathroom (see Beetlejuice movie for prime examples of this). Ditto this for NEW development and putting is an all stone looking hobbit interior... you get the idea.
Remember, these are my dreams, preferences etc… BUT as a former professional house, home, apartment cleaner are my preferences I have learned along the way. I prefer to live life well, not live a life spending time IN my home cleaning it! I prefer to LIVE LIFE…
Be well friends.
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