Sliding.....

I feel like I'm watching a movie. Flashes of reality inter-twined with hope for the future and hopelessness of my situation. I know I am not alone, I have friends and family who are there for me.

I want to sleep more than I want to wake. I want to close my eyes and hope things are better when they open. I know I am the only one who can change things. I am in survival mode; one day at a time. I feel like I am not in control.

I take in the finest detail of things I've never even noticed before. The peeling bark on a tree I have parked next to for a year now. The smell of my daughters hair as I kiss her goodnight.

Sigh, "this too shall pass". A few days and things will be bright and cheery. I will soon forget to notice the tree. I will see life clearly again. I will be motivated to do more. For now, I think I'll just go to sleep with my dog. :}